Declining the school place :/

In three days time our forms have to be returned either accepting or declining our offer of a school place.  I've spent the last 12 months moving towards the belief that school is not the best place for our children to learn, and yet still I am extremely nervous about declining.  I guess it's the point of no return, and the point at which we really have to face the decision we've made and all the consequences that come with that.

One thing I'm particularly dreading is having to tell people. Not so much family and friends because I can't imagine many people who know us well being surprised, but acquaintances and Joe Public. Very often I'll be out with the boys and people will ask how old they are, closely followed by "Oh, he'll be off to school soon then!" Usually I just smile and say "yes!" for an easy life and to avoid having to endure an unwanted opinion! Once September comes and our 4 year-old is clearly not attending school, I guess it will be harder to do this.

Recently, with the date for the forms to be returned looming, I've been reflecting on all the reasons to send Joseph to school.  It didn't take me long to realise that every reason was based in fear; the fear that he'll miss out on something, the fear I'll get it wrong, the fear that I'll be judged, the fear that he'll be judged, the fear that people will think we're weird, the fear I'll be overwhelmed, but by far the most worrying of all, the fear that Joseph will at some point resent me for choosing not to send him.  However, I don't want to live a life based in fear and I don't want that for my children either, so I've acknowledged these fears but I refuse to act on them.  Its in a deep love and respect for the boys that my belief they will learn best without school is based.  I watch them learning all day every day, in everything they do.  They are curious, resourceful, determined and interact with the world from a place of pure joy in a way that seems perfectly natural to them.  I want to give them every opportunity to stay in this place because I have the privilege of glimpsing the world through their eyes and its a wonderful, wonderful place.  So, if learning purely for joy is the starting place then wow, imagine where it could go!

Now, on with those forms...